Jennifer Allan's Selling to Your Sphere of Influence - No Sales Pitch Required!

A major fear of beginning an SOI* Seduction campaign is that your targets (that is, the people who know you) will see right through your attempts at friendship and know that you're trying to "seduce" them.

So, let's talk about Seduction for a moment. 

Even when I'm aware I'm being seduced, I certainly enjoy the ride. I mean, if my man were to come home tonight and outright announce he was expecting some action, I might be put off by his approach. I might feel a little used. However, if he came home with roses, gave me a big hug and kiss, helped me clear the table and then took out the trash, his chances of getting lucky would dramatically increase, wouldn't they?

So what if I know what he's up to?

Or imagine a young man takes a young woman out on a date. If he were to ask her up front if he's going to get lucky that night, she would probably be offended, even though it's likely she realizes it's in the back of his mind. So, the smart young man takes a different approach. He is charming. He is friendly. He is appreciative. He is attentive. He is complimentary. He is respectful. In short, he's good company and makes her feel special. He's fun to be around.

Will his seduction efforts pay off? Who knows? But he's sure a whole lot closer than if he had just announced his intentions up front. Again, the young woman probably knows she's being "seduced" but she's enjoying it.

So, let's compare a romantic seduction to the process of seducing your SOI. Fact is you want something from your SOI. You want their business and referrals. You want to be invited to their parties. You want to be their favorite real estate agent, don't you?

Well, you could always call up everyone you know and tell them, couldn't you? Remind them on the first Monday of each month that You {Heart} Referrals? Ask them if they know of anyone buying or selling real estate? Maybe even ask them for an invitation to their next social gathering?

But do you think they'd look forward to hearing from you? Do you think they'd appreciate your approach? Probably not; in fact, they might start avoiding your calls.

What if you were to call up your friends every month or two and ask how they're doing and really listen? Maybe even offer to help or send out periodic informative e-mails or newsletters of interest to them instead of all about you. What if you invited your friends to your Super Bowl party or sent them a postcard from your vacation in Cancun?

Would your friends realize you want their business and referrals? Maybe, but they won't care - you are making them feel special and cared about. Besides that, you're fun to be around! 

Seduction works in a romantic arena; it also works in a prospecting one. If we are charming, friendly, appreciative, attentive, complimentary, respectful and fun to be around (and also reliable and competent), we'll get our friends' business and referrals. We don't have to beg for it; we really don't even need to ask for it.

Give it some thought.

*SOI Seduction = Sphere of Influence = To generate business and referrals from the people who know you.

One of my readers asked the question "How do you build loyalty with your customers or potential customers?"

Interesting question.

I don't. I don't want anyone's "loyalty." Oh, sure I'll take it, but to me, the word "loyalty" is on the same playing field as "obligation" which as I've said before is a Dirty Word When You SOI. I don't want anyone to feel obligated to be loyal to me!

I want to earn my business, and keep earning it. I want my customers to use me, hire me and refer me... then use me, hire me and refer me again... and again... not because they're "loyal," but because they know I'm good at my job, they like me and they know I care deeply about their real estate transaction.

So, how do I make sure they know this?

By being a darn good real estate agent (which means I know my market, my systems and my contracts, among other things), by staying in touch with the people I know... and by never pestering them about being loyal!

My SOI* has always been around 300 warm bodies, which is more than enough to get plenty of business and referrals without much outside effort on my part.

However, as many of you know, I'm getting ready to launch a major SOI Reconnection Campaign, so I'm looking closer at my contact database as part of the getting-ready process.

There were a lot of names in there of people who... well... don't make me feel warm & fuzzy. Either they were a total PITA and I'd never want to work with them again or I have a sneaking suspicion they don't like me. Yes, even Miss Smarty Pantz (me) has had deals go sour, leaving everyone a little disgruntled and uncomfortable.

So, I deleted these names from my database. It felt GOOD! But that left me with a much depleted database and I really want to get back to 300 again. Or at least, 200 in the very near future.

Here's the fun part. I'm going to actively pursue new people to add to my database and they're all going to be people I like! Can you imagine if you added one "nice" name to your database every day for a year? Or even six months??? And then... you'd have a database full of only people who make you smile!

It would make SOI'ing even more fun!

Off I go.

*My SOI = The People Who Know Me

I'm pretty darn good at SOI'ing - that is - staying in touch with the people I know so that they remember who the heck I am and why they might want to think of my name when the topic of real estate comes up. My SOI enthusiastically supported me in my rookie year and throughout my real estate career... and I have no reason to doubt that they will continue to do so.

But, alas, even I'm not perfect. Sigh.

I just did an annual review of my mailing list to see if anyone hired someone other than me to sell their Denver home in the last year. The Denver MLS allows me to input an address and it tells me if there has been any activity on it in the last three years. It's always a bit of a rush when the address pulls up NO ACTIVITY, but then such a crashing disappointment when I see a SOLD ON date (or even worse, an ACTIVE SINCE date which means I JUST missed them!).

So, since I'm getting ready to launch a big SOI Reconnection campaign, it seemed like a good time to go through the list.

So, how'd I do?

Not bad, actually! Out of 156 contacts who own a home in Denver, only FOUR, yes FOUR of them hired someone else to sell their home! A few more did list elsewhere, but the homes never sold, so they're fair game.

The best news is that the people who "strayed" weren't people I'd made much effort with, so I can't feel too bad. In fact, none of them were anyone I'd actually had a conversation with since the closing - I'd just sent them stuff on a semi-regular basis.

And that's the thing about SOI. There's only so much you can do and you'll go crazy if you try to be perfect. If you could have a personal, non-salesy conversation with every single person you know twice a year, you'd probably bat 1000 with your SOI, but no one can do that! Well, maybe you can, but I can't.

So, I'll just quietly celebrate my 3% shrinkage and commit to making some new friends tonight at the neighborhood Super Bowl party!