Question: "I understand that I won't always get my friends' business, but when I don't, is it reasonable to expect a courtesy call explaining why they hired someone else?"
It's tough when someone you know entrusts their real estate business to another agent, isn't it? When you're new, the disappointment can take days to get over, but even for Old Fogies like me, it'll still sting for an hour or two.
I believe that it's best to give your friend the benefit of the doubt and assume that she had a perfectly good reason for her decision not to bring you in on her real estate transaction. Trust in that, swallow your hurt and move on. Don't risk the friendship (or future business!) by demanding an explanation, complaining to mutual friends or sulking the next time you see her.
It might help you to behave properly if you look at the situation from a purely mercenary perspective. Your friend might become disillusioned with her chosen real estate agent - either during the transaction or afterwards. If it happens "during" and you've been pleasantly professional (as opposed to accusingly indignant), you might just find your friend back on your doorstep begging for your help. But even if this doesn't happen, the agent she chose might have been a major disappointment and you can actually cement your position as your friend's go-to guy or gal for her future referrals. But I guarantee neither will happen if you pout, whine or fuss about her decision.
I don't think the general public realizes how hurtful it is when our friends hire someone else - I doubt they even give it much thought. In most cases, it's not AT ALL personal, so they don't even think to feel bad about it, or feel they owe you any explanation.
So, does your friend owe you a courtesy call? No. If you get one, dandy (and please don't make her regret her decision to do so). But if you don't, please don't fret. More than an hour, anyway.
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