Jennifer Allan's Selling to Your Sphere of Influence - No Sales Pitch Required!

On one of my recent (featured - thank you!) blogs about referral-begging, the comment was made "If you don't ask, you don't get" in relation to calling up your sphere of influence (or even strangers) and asking if they know anyone to refer to you. In case you don't already know my opinion on the matter, I think that's a really stupid way to prospect.

As Dave Ramsey sez, "Hope I wasn't unclear."

Of course it's true that in many situations, you must ask for what you want to have any chance of getting what you want. If you would like a discount on a computer at Best Buy, you'll have to ask for one. If you'd like fries with your Big Mac, you'll have to ask for them. If you'd like a nicer office, you'll probably have to ask for it.

But when it comes to inspiring people to send business your way - it's a whole 'nother thing. You're "asking" people to think highly enough of you to entrust their precious referral business to you - and as we all know, referrals can backfire on the referrer if they don't go well. Therefore, it's important that you exude an air of success and confidence, which does NOT involve asking / begging / bribing or obligating for business.

Blah Blah Blah - if you've been around here any time at all, you already know how I feel about asking for business. Don't.

But here's the thing. You absolutely CAN inspire the people you know and the people you meet to send business your way without ever asking / begging / bribing or obligating them.

How?

Well, let's go back to Referral-Begging 101. We're taught a variety of scripts to Beg for Referrals from our spheres of influence. How about these gems?

• "Do you know anyone who needs to buy or sell real estate?"
• "Do you know anyone moving to my area who could use my services?"
• "I build my business by referral; will you please keep me in mind if you hear of anyone buying or selling?"
• "I'm never too busy for your referrals."
• "I'm always looking for referrals, so would you mind taking a few of my business cards?"

So, Jennifer, um, I don't get it. What's wrong with these scripts?

Say each of them out loud. What message are your words sending to your audience?

More tomorrow!

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Quoted with permission from Go-Givers Sell More by Bob Burg and John David Mann:

"You may have been taught that to be successful in sales, you need to "step outside of your comfort zone." Let's reexamine that idea. If you push yourself to a place that makes you uncomfortable, chances are pretty good you'll end up making the other person uncomfortable, too. Consciously or not, they'll sense your discomfort - and attitudes are contageous.

We human beings tend to resist discomfort; in fact, we'll typically do anything to avoid putting outselves in uncomfortable situations. Why base your entire career on something your strongest instincts tell you to avoid?"

One fine day last spring, I got a phone call from a real estate agent whose name didn't ring a bell.

This agent whose name didn't ring a bell small-talked with me for a few minutes, while I racked my brain to figure out if he was someone I should remember.

Well, when the small-talking was done, he asked me if I knew anyone moving to his town that I could refer to him. Ahhhhhh, sez Jennifer, Now I get it. He's prospecting. Well, I know it's hard to believe, but I didn't happen to know anyone moving to his area, so I told him he could send me an email with his contact information and I'd be glad to let him know if that situation changes. He bade me farewell and hung up. And I never heard from him.

I thought it was pretty funny, not to mention an abysmal waste of his time - cold-calling someone and asking for referrals - and then not even following up?? Interesting strategy.

But over the next month, I got more such calls from agents around the country. Agents whose names I DID recognize; agents who were followers of my philosophy which specifically advises against any form of referral-begging. All asking me if I knew anyone moving to their area.

Now I was confused. What was inspiring this flurry of referral-begging activity?

I gently tried to dissuade the callers from making more such calls to their spheres of influence, but they all seemed determined and even enthusiastic about it.

Well, okay. To each his or her own. Far be it from me to talk someone out of a prospecting technique they're excited about.

It finally dawned on me that these calls must be part of a corporate training program. My assumption was correct - there was a program making the rounds where participants were instructed to call 100 people per day (or maybe it was per week) and ask for referrals.

Whatever. I think it's a ridiculous strategy to abuse friendships with any sort of referral-begging, but apparently I'm in the minority there, at least in the world of real estate training. I'll just say that I don't like it when it's done to me, so it's a given that I will never do it to anyone else.

But the epilogue to this story is that I heard from one of the agents again the other day. Was she calling to hit me up again for referrals to her area? Nope. She was calling to apologize for doing it the first time. That she'd felt sick to her stomach doing it, not only to me, but to the other dozens of friends and acquaintances she subjected her pitch to. She is concerned that she'd actually damaged her friendships and was asking for advice on how to repair that damage.

My friends, if it feels wrong DON'T DO IT. IGNORE the well-intentioned (?) coaches and trainers and brokers who say you have to venture out of your comfort zone in order to succeed. Because there's a difference between overcoming a fear of something new, and doing something you feel is wrong. A BIG difference.

And you know what? You can tell the difference if you'll only pay attention to that little voice inside of you. It knows what it's talking about!

RELATED BLOGS
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DORKY: A style of writing, primarily used in self-promotion, which is predictable, boring, boilerplate or just plain blah. See also The Dorky Announcement Letter, The Dorky Business Card and the Dorky Online Profile.

I really really really wanted to post this blog about nine months ago. A quick look at the calendar would tell you that nine months ago was right around the 2009 holiday season. But smarter heads prevailed, and advised that I hold off until a more "neutral" time of year - e.g. the middle or end of summer. Wise heads, my friends have.

Why wait? Because what I'm about to say probably would have hurt a lot of feelings had I posted it during the heat of the season -- because it would have applied to just everyone who read it. Which means, of course, that everyone who reads it today may still be a little hurt, but at least it's not as, um, timely. You'll see what I mean shortly.

Starting around Thanksgiving, the e-greetings start coming out. You know what an e-greeting is, don't you? Basically a seasonal greeting card that is delivered to your email inbox instead of your snail-mail box. Nothing wrong with that.

But the messages in these e-greetings are... well... predictable. Pithy. Sappy, yet meaningless. Boring. DORKY.

Here's an example of a well-intended message I received last year:

May the spirit of the holiday fill your heart with warmth and love.  Enjoy this wonderful time with your family and loved ones.  It is with gratitude that we say thank you for our friends, our health and another year in our lives.

May you have a Merry Christmas and a Prosperous 2010.

It's only one of several dozen I got just like it; I'm sure you did, too. And don't get me wrong - I appreciate being on so many distribution lists and there's nothing WRONG with sending out a Dorky message, but here's the thing.

It's not memorable.

No matter how beautifully written, no matter how grammatically correct, no matter how gracefully your words flow, those words are forgettable. And therefore (sorry), your well-intentioned greeting will be forgotten.

And we definitely don't want to be forgotten! After all, isn't that the reason we send these greetings out? To be remembered?

How ‘bout something different this year? Something from the heart - YOUR heart that is - something that actually says something you mean; something you might actually say out loud if you were wishing someone you cared about a Happy Holiday.

Here's an example of a e-greeting card I got from one of my readers. I laughed out loud as I read it. I got a clear picture of my reader friend in my mind, and thought of him fondly. It's his voice, his personality. Might not be YOUR voice or YOUR personality and that's fine. But find YOUR voice... and USE that voice with this year's holiday wishes!

I know the standards of writing I've set in the past are causing you right now to eagerly anticipate sage pearls of wisdom from me; carefully selected words expressed in such an articulate, heartfelt fashion with a message so touching and meaningful as to make you pause, look into the deepest recesses of your heart and reflect on the things you should be thankful for in spite of the troubled times we live in.  Sentences so eloquently constructed they'll render mental and emotional images that will make you cry (just a little). You'll vividly and fondly remember all the joyful Thanksgivings of years past and look forward with hope and eager anticipation to all the Thanksgivings yet to come.

WELL......

Sorry to tell you - I got nothing!

Just enjoy your time off with family and friends and don't eat too much stuffing.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

So, open your mind to a new way to say Happy Holidays to the people you care about. YOUR way...

Got a google alert this morning about an article that was just posted 'bout me in the Pennsylvania Association of Realtors' newsletter. I rather like it, so I thought I'd share...

Sphere Includes More Than Friends and Family

Tuesday, July 27, 2010 By Kim Shindle

Working a "sphere of influence" business is not about pestering friends and family to help you get leads, according to Jennifer Allan, owner of Sell With Soul, a real estate consulting company based in Florida.

"Your sphere of influence (SOI) is more than friends and family," Allan said. "To categorize your friends as to whether they'll make a referral and to bombard them with sales material is an uncomfortable way to do business."

Allan defines "sphere of influence" as "everyone who knows you and knows that you sell real estate. That includes people you like, don't like, people you meet every day, new contacts - whether or not you think they'll make a referral."

"Many agents use an SOI business model as an alternative to prospecting strangers," Allan said. "They ‘warm' call their friends when it's clearly a sales call; they send mass mailings to their friends and they spam them with e-mails, all in order to avoid cold-calling strangers.

To continue... click HERE!

(This is JA now, not the article)... I've been thinking a lot about my beloved Sphere of Influence strategies and philosophies... and I have some new things to say... stay tuned...

To read more of my SOI ramblings... check out my SOI blog
www.Sphere-of-Influence.com

Just got off the phone with an ambitious newer real estate agent who is all fired up about selling some real estate. Some serious real estate. He has a plan. He's committed to this plan. He's passionate about his plan. He WILL meet his goal or die trying.

His goal? To have 35 listings in the next 90 days.

Impressive. And given his enthusiasm and commitment, I think he can do it.

But should he?

This agent is a follower of SWS which means, among other things, that he is committed to being the best thing that could ever happen to his clients. Which, it is understood, will result in business and referrals coming his way for years to come from all his happy, satisfied clients.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

No new agent can properly service 35 listings. Oh, I'm not saying that he can't HANDLE 35 listings (although it's questionable), but actually SERVICE them? No way. Very few agents of any experience level can provide repeat-and-refer-worthy service at that level of production. 

So, what do I mean by "service?" Well, you can bet I mean more than taking a listing agreement, hiring someone to put a sign in the yard, having the receptionist write up an inaccurate and boring MLS description, taking some awful photos, creating typo-infused home brochures and showing up six weeks later with a smile and an amendment to reduce the price. 

No, I mean overseeing all the moving pieces and parts of the complicated process of preparing, marketing, selling and closing a listed property. Really caring about the outcome. Making sure your seller knows you care about the outcome. Keeping your seller informed and involved. So many other things I've written about in the past.

Many say that most of the post-signed-listing-agreement functions can be handled by a $10/hour assistant. I disagree. But that's a post for a different day.

Anyway, I asked this agent if he really thought he could knock the sox off all 35 of his seller clients with his service... or if, more likely, he'd just find himself with 35 unhappy clients who would not use him again or refer him to others.

He's thinking about it. What do YOU think?

Stay tuned for more on the subject in an upcoming post...

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~  Dr. Seuss

In April, I did a teleseminar called "Don't Be Dorky, Be YOU!" which was about how to write interesting, relevant and non-cheesy content for your self-promotional material. During that seminar, I talked about the wisdom of being "transparent" to your audience; specifically, whether or not you should you share your personal beliefs and interests with your audience if those beliefs are at all controversial or subject to debate.

I used the rather obvious examples of *religion and politics. If you are a person of faith, should you make that clear in your personal marketing (whether that's your blog, your Facebook page, your website, your personal brochure and/or your SOI communications)? If you have strong political leanings, is it appropriate to publicly share those from time to time when current events seem to call for it?  

During the seminar, I said yes - it is appropriate, within reason. I explained that even though you take the risk of alienating some of your audience, you also maximize the chances that your candor will attract like-minded people with whom you will probably enjoy working. And even if someone doesn't agree wholeheartedly with your opinion, you'll still stand out among the crowd as simply being more interesting than most of your competition who is determined to play it safe and hang out in the middle of the aisle.  

Brilliant stuff, Jennifer, if she does say so herself.  

Well, last week, I had the opportunity to put my money where my mouth was. I sent out an email to my entire **mailing list, and, without giving it much thought, referenced a recent controversial blog I'd written.

Oops.

Well, sorta oops. The responses poured in, literally hundreds of them within a few hours. The majority of responses were supportive, even effusive. Neato.

But some were... shall we say... less so.

A handful of my (now former) readers blasted me for my opinion, and a percentage promptly unsubscribed from my mailing list and my Active Rain blog.

At first, I was shaken. I was hurt. I was mad at myself for carelessly risking the support of my readership. I berated myself for hours for being so stupid as to be that transparent with my precious mailing list. I didn't sleep much that night.

But somewhere in the middle of that sleepless night, I had an epiphany. While my transparency did indeed alienate a portion of my audience, it also solidified the support of a much larger portion of that audience, and also attracted dozens of new readers into my world.

I must confess that in my initial moments of panic, I considered apologizing, backing off my stance and returning to the middle of the aisle where it's much safer. But I didn't and I'm at peace with that decision.

Are you considering being more transparent in your self-promotion? If so, good for you! But be warned that it may take the wind out of your sails the first few times (actually, every time) someone nastily asks to be removed from your mailing list, and you may very well lose audience members. But be assured that there IS a loyal and supportive audience for your viewpoint (unless it's really wacky or creepy, LOL); one that will love you even more once they've discovered your common ground!

*See Post #44 for other, less-divisive examples of opportunities to be "transparent."

** If you'd like to join my mailing list so you can receive my sometimes-not-thought-all-the-way-through ramblings, just do that on my home page www.sellwithsoul.com.

At the end of last year, I went on a rampage about cheese. Not the edible kind (heavens, no!), but rather, the prospecting variety. As in, promoting yourself with dorky, pitchy, predictable material that you bought off the shelf or copied and pasted from some free online resource (or egads, maybe you even paid for the krap!). Y'know. Prospecting cheese.

It is my opinion that if you're going to spend your time and your money promoting yourself to your adoring fans, it's far more effective if you actually create the material yourself to ensure that it's not dorky, cheesy or boring. Everything you send out, whether via snail-mail or email, should be done with the intent of inspiring the recipient to smile and think of you fondly.

And yes, that might just take a little more time than you're used to devoting to your mass-prospecting efforts.

Well, seeing how "time" is usually in short supply, many agents read my stuff and say "Okay, I agree in principle, but at least I'm sending out SOMETHING! I figure that's better than nothing, right?"

Nice try, but no. It's not. Especially when you're sending out that SOMETHING to your Sphere of Influence - aka your friends and acquaintances. If you must, go ahead and send out cheese to strangers, but PLEASE don't do it to your Sphere.

Why?

Your Sphere of Influence contact database is precious and should be treated as such. In fact, it may be the most valuable tool in your arsenal for getting good business and bringing in juicy paychecks. Treat it with the respect it deserves. Let me rephrase that. Treat the PEOPLE who make up your contact database with the respect they deserve.

Every single person in your Sphere of Influence has the potential to bring a $10,000 check your way. More than one, even. That's a fact. So, it's well worth the effort to MAKE an effort to, as above, inspire those special people to smile and think fondly of you every time they hear from you. Don't do anything that sends a message that the person is simply a name on your list, someone worthy of your prospecting efforts, but maybe not your personal attention. And that's exactly what canned, boilerplate, cheesy marketing material does. It sends the message that the recipient is just a name on your list.

Frankly, I'd rather take the chance that my Sphere of Influence (which remember, includes my social network) forgets I sell real estate, rather than take the chance that they roll their eyes every time they hear from me. If I'm not willing to take the time to create interesting, relevant, non-cheesy promotional material to send to my precious Sphere of Influence, then a Sphere of Influence business model may not the right model for me.

So, no, Prospecting with Cheese is NOT Better than Nothing. At least not with your Sphere of Influence.

RELATED CHEESE-TO-SOUL BLOGS
Turning Cheese into Soul
Expireds & FSBO's
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The other day, a nice man from REALTOR Magazine called me up to chat about the Do Not Call list - specifically, what recommendations I, Jennifer Allan, queen of cold-calling (*snort*) might have for agents stymied in their prospecting efforts by that pesky DNC.

We had a great conversation, although it remains to be seen if any of my brilliance will make it into the final article since I really have no experience with the DNC except for being first in line to sign up.

But one of the last questions he asked made me think... and I came up with an answer off the cuff that I'm rather proud of. Thought I'd share it with you.

Question: "Jennifer, I understand that you never cold-called, but I'm sure that someone in your RE/MAX office did. If that agent were to ask you for advice on what to do instead, what would you have advised him?"

JA's Off-the-Cuff Answer: "Hmmmmmm."

No, seriously, I did come up with something...

"What I would probably tell him would be to get out from behind the desk and the telephone and take his naturally charming self out there into the world and make contacts face to face. No, not by knocking on doors or attending power networking events, but rather by striving to make a positive impression on as many people as possible as he goes about his day. By implementing a Quality over Quantity approach to attracting business. Instead of trying to make contact with 100 people a day, who will almost certainly promptly forget about him, try to really connect with two or three, who will be much more likely to remember him tomorrow... and six months from now."

I'm guessing that someone who has experienced success in cold calling has an appealing personality and a confident aura of success, which would be very attractive out in the real world, too! And, frankly, being out in the real world making real friends and real connections sounds a whole lot more fun and rewarding than dialing for dollars three hours a day!

I must confess that while I think my advice is brilliant, I've never been approached by a master cold-caller for my opinion and I don't expect to be in the near future. There are many paths to success and we're all better suited to one path or another.

So, while I don't expect the cold-calling world to suddenly shift their tactics to the JA-Way, I do hope I can inspire those who'd rather not cold-call to try the JA-Way and see if they like it!

Oh, and watch for your April edition of REALTOR Magazine to see if any of this made it in...

A long time ago (last week? The week before?), I promised to continue a little series I was running about Turning Cheese into Soul - that is - taking yesterday's tired old prospecting techniques and making them less, um, cheesy. Well, I got a little distracted, but it's been driving me NUTS to have the remainder of the series on my to-do list... so, I'm back.

Today's topic is about greeting cards. Specifically, a program called Send Out Cards.* If you aren't familiar with the product/program, it's a greeting card system where you choose a card from an online selection, customize it, and "sign" it... hit SEND and a real, live greeting card goes out in the mail with what appears to be your signature. You can even provide samples of your handwriting and the system will "handwrite" your personal note in the card so that appears to actually have been written by you. Pretty slick.

I've been rather critical of the program for awhile now. I did try it a few years ago, had a negative experience - my cards were sent out twice, thus destroying any notion the recipients might have had as to the authenticity of the cards. I've never used or recommended Send Out Cards again. Here's a blog I wrote on the topic, in fact: http://activerain.com/blogsview/430334/if-you-re-gonna-soi-don-t-over-systemitize-

However, I had a conversation a few weeks ago with my new friend John Lind who might have changed my mind. At least, sorta. Maybe I should say that he opened my eyes to a better way to use the product/program; one that is much more in line with my philosophies of how such things ought to be done.  

John uses his Send Out Cards membership in a decidedly non-dorky/non-cheesy manner. In fact, his use of the program falls right in line with what I teach about staying in touch with your Sphere of Influence. Instead of simply relying on the program to sign and mail a mildly clever, but run-of-the-mill greeting card, he takes the time to use the technology offered by the program to create a truly memorable card - one that will almost certainly make the recipient smile; maybe even LOL!

Here's an example of a card John sent me:

John generated this card after our discussion where I explained why I didn't like the idea of Send(ing) Out Cards. He "wrote" a very nice note on the inside of the card; one that was personal to me and our conversation. I am, in a word, impressed. And yes, I did LOL when I opened it. I even kept it!

Here's another card John did at Thanksgiving...

So, what's the punch line? While it's cheesy (IMO) to rely on technology to do your staying-in-touching FOR you, it's not at all cheesy to use technology to make your staying-in-touching memorable!

See the difference?

Let me know if you have any cool ideas I can steal admire.

* I have nothing to do with the Send Out Cards program - I don't sell it, promote it or distribute it, so the above is definitely not any sort of infomercial for the product. However, I'm sure John would be happy to brainstorm ways that you can make more of an impact with your staying-in-touching! Here's his email address. 

The other day I got a very timely question from my cyber-friend Ron, considering this week's Cheese-to-Soul series.

Ron asked if I knew of a source for good real estate-related newsletter content that would be "meaningful" to his Sphere of Influence (his "SOI"). He's frustrated by the material available for purchase, most of which simply feels canned. Moreover, he's uncomfortable using much of it because it relates to topics he's NOT an expert in, such as tax planning, home staging and credit reports.

I agree. As I may have mentioned a time or two, I refuse to use canned, boilerplate material. I think it's cheesy and dorky. (My definition of Dorky is any written, self-promotional communication that is dull, dry, boring or corporate. Most content-for-purchase pretty much qualifies. )

But let's go back to Ron's quest for real estate information that would be "meaningful" to his SOI.  Here was my response to him:

"Here's the thing - your SOI doesn't have a lot of interest in real estate on a day-to-day basis. Therefore, there's not much in OUR world that would be generally meaningful to people outside of our world, with a few exceptions that come up from time to time.

You want your newsletters to be interesting to your audience, more so than "meaningful." And you know what's interesting to your SOI? Stuff from YOU.  From YOU, their friend, Ron. Maybe an observation about the real estate market, if it's interesting, or to pass on a funny story from your career. Or maybe not related to real estate at all.

I write to my SOI every month in email form, not newsletter form. I want my SOI communications to clearly come from me, not some canned product I bought off a virtual shelf. If newsletters/emails are going to be part of my marketing plan, I'm going to put some effort into them in the hopes of inspiring my friends and acquaintances to think fondly of me, rather than to just simply remember that I sell real estate (and promptly forget)."

So, to pick up from yesterday's blog post on this very topic, remember that the primary goal of your "newsletter" is not to impress, educate or overtly prospect. It's simply to remind the people you know that you exist and that you're a pretty cool guy or gal.

What topics might do that? Well, kinda like blogging, the list is endless... and once you're in the habit, it gets easier and easier to come up with ideas. Here are a few of mine:

Didja' See Me on the News?

Denver Dwellers, what's YOUR special day?

And I thought I was so smart...

I recommend that you always have a notebook with you to scribble down ideas for SOI newsletters - and I think you'll be pleased how quickly your list will grow once you get in the habit.

This seems like a good opportunity for a little SWS plug - I just released my SWS Mega-Toolkit which includes a section of several dozen real-life SOI letters and emails that might give you some ideas for your own 2010 newsletters.

Okay, so that's three blogs on the Art of the Non-Cheesy Newsletter. I think I'll move on now... next up - Greeting Cards! Or... maybe listing presentations... or maybe... heck, I dunno. Just stay tuned!