Yesterday I promised to follow up on my blog "You Gotta Ask for What You Want, Right? Eh, not always."
I ended the blog with the assignment to read thru some of the more popular Referral-Begging scripts, and then say them out loud. To refresh your memory, here they are:
- "Do you know anyone who needs to buy or sell real estate?"
- "Do you know anyone moving to my area who could use my services?"
- "I build my business by referral; will you please keep me in mind if you hear of anyone buying or selling?"
- "I'm never too busy for your referrals."
- "I'm always looking for referrals, so would you mind taking a few of my business cards?"
When you say these words out loud, what message are you sending to your audience?
Several commenters nailed it. When you beg for business you sound desperate, hungry and unsuccessful. Definitely not emotions you want to inspire in your audience. People don't hire and refer out of pity; they hire and refer out of respect.
But it goes deeper than that.
Did you notice how all these scripts are all about YOU (as in, the person saying the scripts)? All about what YOU need and want?
There's nothing in these scripts that leads your audience to believe you have anything of value for them; you aren't assuring them of your competence, of your expertise, of your work ethic. You aren't telling them with your words or tone or even your body language that you are capable of Taking Great Care of Them and Their Referrals. No, you're simply telling them with your words, your tone and your body language that you Need Their Business and Referrals.
So, how could you let the people you know and the people you meet know that you'll "take great care of their business" as opposed to you just "need their business?"
And, no, the answer probably isn't telling them "I'll take great care of your business, I promise!"
Thoughts?
Wanna GET referrals without ASKING for them?
Join us starting on September 13th (that's Monday!) for the six week
Prospecting with Soul Workshop!

Jennifer,
I wish I had something to add, but it is a perfect summary of logic and how one should approach home sales. Sadly those of us that use these pearls must defuse the aged rhetoric and preconceived notion that we are going to hammer the prospect, friend, whatever. I hope you will address some strategies for this as well in the workshop. I look forward to it!!!
all the best...
I look forward to hearing some of the great answers to this question!
Wow them up front and the referrals will follow.
How do you wow them? Return their calls, be empathetic, and treat them the way you would want to be treated in a similar situation!
I think this is a record - just two comments all morning! Everyone must be busy out there selling real estate!
Tammy - I'd love to hear some thoughts, too... obviously I have plenty and will share them, though...
Bill - One of the goals of the Workshop is to help everyone shift their paradigm FROM marketing themselves from an "I need business" perspective to a "I'd be delighted to help you (and I'm perfectly capable to do so)" one. It's not a script or a dialogue... it's an internal conviction...
Robert - Ooh, that reminds me of a blog I wrote last year on this subject... I'll dig it up. But yes, that's it exactly. Not exactly revolutionary, but oh, so often missed...
Wow, it is a little slow this morning...just so you know, I made a special effort to step into a cyber cafe here in Bocas del Toro, just so I could read your blog.
I could not agree with you more...this business is about the client. Period. I have never understood why agents felt the need to focus on the "me me me" aspect of this biz...what does a client get out of that approach? I have always believed if you do a great job, you don´t need to ask for business...it absolutely WILL follow!
Need I say great blog and I agree 100%? LOL
I agree - so many agents base their marketing on "Help ME build MY business." It should be, "How can my business serve YOU? How can I help YOU?" In the end, isn't that what truly speaks to a client?
Actions speak louder than words!
Christine - Wow - Now that's a great summary of it all! Good job!
Shelley - Yes!!! When I go looking for someone to help me Solve a Problem, whatever that problem may be, I'm hoping they're actually interested in ME!
Susan - I'm honored you took a moment from your vacation to comment. And yeah, I figured you'd agree...
Well said Jennifer. People can smell "desperation", let's have more style than that!
Your blog post certainly made me stop and think about the way I need to approach building my business and how I approach people.
Thanks, Betsy
Ahhhhh perfect!
Hi Jennifer
re: Actions
I stopped by a local deli that last week i hadnt been to for a long..long time. The cook made a point of coming over and greeting me with a BIG smile and said "when it comes time to sell his house he wants me for the job because i sold neighbors house so quickly.. and nothing sells in that neighborhood"
Strikes me that the way we conduct our business (good or bad) stays in the minds of others. Others who may hire us or reccomend our services to a friend or to a neighbor.
Willl this cheerful man reccomend me to others? I don't know if that is in his comfort zone
any suggestions? I do think i need to get out of my own way and start eating at that deli 1ce a month?
thanks, colleen
Montreal, QC Canada